God's Pharmacy

I can understand most things relating to technology but I have to say this I simply can't. The requirement to judge with humane amount of common sense... I have tried to send the details below to a number of friends and colleagues only to find it get bounced (OK so it is possible that on one occasion that might have caused embarrassment! Sorry!)

Clearly I can see that there are a couple of references that might get picked up but put them into the context of the email and they are purely harmless... compared to even the small amount of spam that gets through! Simply unbelievable!

	A sliced Carrot looks like the human eye. The pupil, iris and radiating lines look just like the human eye... and YES, science now shows carrots greatly enhance blood flow to and function of the eyes.
	A Tomato has four chambers and is red. The heart has four chambers and is red. All of the research shows tomatoes are loaded with lycopine and are indeed pure heart and blood food.
	Grapes hang in a cluster that has the shape of the heart. Each grape looks like a blood cell and all of the research today shows grapes are also profound heart and blood vitalizing food.
	A Walnut looks like a little brain, a left and right hemisphere, upper cerebrums and lower cerebellums.  Even the wrinkles or folds on the nut are just like the neo-cortex. We now know walnuts help develop more than three (3) dozen neuron-transmitters for brain function.
	Kidney Beans actually heal and help maintain kidney function and yes, they look exactly like the human kidneys.
	Celery, Bok Choy, Rhubarb and many more look just like bones. These foods specifically target bone strength. Bones are 23% sodium and these foods are 23% calcium. If you don't have enough calcium in your diet, the body pulls it from the bones, thus making them weak. These foods replenish the skeletal needs of the body.
	Avocadoes, Eggplant and Pears target the health and function of the womb and cervix of the female - they look just like these organs. Today's research shows that when a woman eats one avocado a week, it balances hormones, sheds unwanted birth weight, and prevents cervical cancers. And how profound is this?  It takes exactly nine (9) months to grow an avocado from blossom to ripened fruit. There are over 14,000 photolytic chemical constituents of nutrition in each one of these foods (mo dern science has only studied and named about 141 of them).
	Figs are full of seeds and hang in twos when they grow. Figs increase the mobility of male sperm and increase the numbers of Sperm as well to overcome male sterility.
	Sweet Potatoes look like the pancreas and actually balance the glycemic index of diabetics.
	Olives assist the health and function of the ovaries
	Oranges, Grapefruits, and other Citrus fruits look just like the mammary glands of the female and actually assist the health of the breasts and the movement of lymph in and out of the breasts.
	Onions look like the body's cells. Research shows onions clear waste materials from all of the body cells. They even produce tears which wash the epithelial layers of the eyes. Garlic also helps eliminate waste materials and dangerous free radicals from the body.

Angels

Not sure where this came from but I have to agree with my mother, it is lovely!

I only know the names of two angels, Hark and Harold. (Gregory, age 5)

Everybody's got it all wrong. Angels don't wear halos anymore. I forget why, but scientists are working on it. (Olive, age 9)

It's not easy to become an angel! First, you die. Then you go to Heaven, and then there's still the flight training to go through. And then you got to agree to wear those angel clothes. (Matthew, age 9)

Angels work for God and watch over kids when God has got to do something else. (Mitchell, age 7)

My guardian angel helps me with maths, but he's not much good for science. (Henry, age 8)

Angels don't eat, but they drink milk from Holy Cows!!! (Jack, age 6)

Angels talk all the way while they're flying you up to heaven. The main subject is where you went wrong before you got dead. (Daniel, age 9)

When an angel gets mad, he takes a deep breath and counts to ten. And when he lets out his breath again, somewhere there's a tornado. (Reagan, age 10)

Angels have a lot to do and they keep very busy. If you lose a tooth, an angel comes in through your window and leaves money under your pillow. Then when it gets cold, angels go south for the winter. (Sara, age 6)

Angels live in cloud houses made by God and his son, who's a very good carpenter. (Jared, age 8)

All angels are girls because they gotta wear dresses and boys didn't go for it. (Antonio, age 9)

My angel is my grandma who died last year. She got a big head start on helping me while she was still down here on earth. (Ashley, age 9)

Some of the angels are in charge of helping heal sick animals and pets. And if they don't make the animals get better, they help the child get over it. (Vicki, age 8)

What I don't get about angels is why, when someone is in love, they shoot arrows at them. (Sarah, age 7)

God's Pharmacy

I can understand most things relating to technology but I have to say this I simply can't. The requirement to judge with humane amount of common sense... I have tried to send the details in this web link to a number of friends and colleagues only to find it get bounced.

Clearly I can see that there are a couple of references that might get picked up but put them into the context of the email and they are purely harmless... compared to even the small amount of spam that gets through! Simply unbelievable!

What do you think: http://www.present-truth.org/7-Health/G-Pharm.htm

Just for a Healthy Level of Insanity!

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They ! Slow Down.
2. On all your cheque stubs, write ' For Marijuana'
3. Skip! down the street Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.
4. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat,with a serious face.
5. Sing Along At The Opera.
6. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'
7. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Car Park, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
8. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'
9. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
10. When you are next at the pharmacy counter, pick up a box of condoms and ask where the fitting rooms are.

Save Water - Shower Together!

How To Shower Like a Woman

Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups / leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower.
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mold spots with Tile cleaner.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see partner along the way, cover up any exposed areas.


How To Shower Like a Man
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see partner along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.
Get in the shower.
Wash your face.
Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair.
Make a Shampoo Mohican
Wee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.
Admire willy size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass partner, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.

I KNOW YOU'RE LAUGHING BECAUSE IT'S TRUE!!!!!!