How Do These People Survive?

How the other half think!

  HOW DO THESE PEOPLE SURVIVE ?

  (1)

  Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have
an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets.

  "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter.

  "You don't?" I replied.

  "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply.

  "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?"

  "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.

  (2)

  The paragraph above doesn't amaze me because of what happened a couple

of

  months ago. I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few

items

  and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I

picked

  up one of those "Dividers" that they keep by the cash register and

placed

  it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.

  After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the

"Divider"

  looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.

  Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this

is?"

  I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that

today."

  She said "OK" and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue

as to

  what had just happened.

  (3)

  A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive

and

  pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was

doing,she

  said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a

credit

  card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."

  (4)

  I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.

  "Do you need some help?" I asked.

  She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote

door

  unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to

a

  distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?"

  "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm too?" I asked.

  "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car

keys to

  me.

  As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why

don't you

  drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."

  (5)

  Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift.

  One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost

out

  of typing paper. What do I do?"

  "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her.

  With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper,

put it

  on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

  (6)

  I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was

towed

  into the garage.

  The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole

thing

  generally looked like an extra in Twister.

  " I asked the manager what had happened.

  He told me t hat the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went

in

  the back to make a sandwich.

  (7)

  My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office

of a

  large bank.

  Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their

  computers.

  One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who

had

  this question:

  "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have

a

  fire downtown?"

  (8)

  Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a

metal

  colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy

machine.

  The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed

the

  copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the

truth.

  Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.