On a Myer hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping". (Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap".(And that would be how?)
On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost". (But, it's just a suggestion).
On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down". (Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating". (And you thought otherwise?)
On packaging for a K-Mart iron: "Do not iron clothes on body". (But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication". (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness". (And...I'm taking this because?)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only". (As opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use". (Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts". (Talk about a news flash!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts". (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
I don't blame the company, I blame the parents for this one: On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly".
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals". (Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
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